Move that Mattress

Background:  Before reading the following, please consider that the victim in this story pulls pranks on friends and family all the time.  I am sure that he will get even somehow.  He is not married at this time and really is "kind of a slob" - according to his sister.  I just say, "Meh...Men will be men."

Adventure: My good friend Kimberly and I have been known to go on a few "side field trips" as we call them.  We are both school teachers in our area, and we are happy to say that we have never quite grown up.  Since school is starting next week, we are fully aware that we need an adventure or two before the rigor and relevance of the classroom sets in.  I give her a call and she is more than happy to pick me up in her Yukon Denali to see if we can find adventure in our small town.  It isn't more than thirty to forty-five seconds until we have our adventure outlined.

As we are driving around the block beyond my home, we notice a very wet (it has rained on and off all day) mattress lying next in the curb in front of Kimberly's brother's house.  Both of us comment that the mattress has been there for almost two weeks.  Kimberly comments, "Man, why does my brother have to be such a redneck.  He parks his cars on his front lawn and now he is letting that mattress sit there in the road because the trash pick-up won't haul it off.  Why can't he just put it into the back of his truck and haul it himself?"

Then the idea hits and we both laugh.  I even laugh harder when I think about including another friend, (one whose name I can't mention because of the prominence she has in the community,) to witness our endeavors.  I laugh so hard when I think about her getting a kick out of our antics that I get some soda up my nose.  LOL

Kimberly drives to WalMart.  We enter the Martz, purchase our adventure material and leave.  We call our prominent friend who is stressed out and busily prepping for next week.  We tell her, "Hey, this will only take ten minutes and you won't be seen.  You can sit in the back of the Denali behind black tinted windows and observe."  She relents (she really needs a break) and climbs in the back seat of the vehicle.  She doesn't really know what we are going to do.

We park next to Kimberly's brother's house, get our ammo and walk to the curb to try and maneuver the mattress that is lying flat on the ground to where it can be seen.  It is extremely heavy because of the rains and rain water it has soaked throughout the day.  We manage to tip over an empty trash can that is next to it and slowly, with trial and lots of error, muscle the wet monster over the can, but our work will not be totally seen.  Kimberly sneaks around the side of her brother's house and takes two 2x4 lumber pieces and brings them around by the mattress.  We form a criss-cross with them behind the mattress which then stands up in full view of the motorists passing by.  Taking red spray paint ammo from WalMart, we spray the words...

"Woman Wanted."

Our friend, bravely gets out of the Denali and takes our picture.  During this time, Kimberly's brother has been in his house.  His two dogs are barking like crazy and he, without even looking in our direction, open's his side door and lets them out.  They come barreling at us..we grab the spray can lids and dash for the vehicle.  Our poor friend is slower than us and doesn't quite make it.  One of the dogs nips her on the butt and rips a hole in her pants, but she makes it in and slams the door.  We are all laughing so hard we can't breathe.  Not bad for three fifty year-old women.

We drive around for a while, and every so often, steer by our new art work.  Others are motoring past the new monument too.  Kimberly notes that her brother's friend and cohort at his work would love to see the adventure of the week.  Stopping at this home, we tell him of our creation.  He laughs, calls to his wife and they both hop into his truck to take a gander.  We follow them, but notice that the mattress has been toppled over by Kimberly's bro. who has seen it.  The friend and wife drive on by.  We stop, run, prop the mattress back up, dash back and get into the Denali just as her brother is coming out of his side door.  He sees us, gives us a questioning look to which Kimberly replies in gesture, "Hey, it wasn't me.  See, it was him!"  just as the friend drives by. 

Oh the adventures we can find if we just observe the everyday.  Later, we drive by, and the mattress is totally gone.  I wonder where it will turn up?

To be continued...